Lord Vaako: The N True Necromonger Story
by Tae Kitsune
Summary: Why is Vaako so quiet and slightly depressed? Odd personality? Bad stutter? Childhood traumas? A dive into his past to see what really happened...
1. Growing Up

Lord Vaako:

The "N" True Necromonger Story

Chapter 1: Growing Up

Little Vaako was like any other child growing up, almost. As other children, he loved to play games and run away from his parents and cause the utmost amount of chaos and destruction. But, unlike the other children, he was a sadistic lunatic. He played games where he would be God, and bring destruction on the world by "smiting," with great fascination, the other kids in the playground. They would be smote in very violent ways, also, usually being crushed by a landslide or buried alive after all unimportant internal organs were removed.

As he grew older, it became more and more apparent that he was not just "going through a phase" but was, in fact, a sadistic lunatic, and was not going to change. Therefore, when he turned 12, his parents opted for some extremely intense mental therapy. When the psychiatrists' body was found brutally beaten, Vaako was a suspect, but since the evidence was non-existent, and he was very young, he was let off with only a stern warning of, "Killing people is bad. You shouldn't kill people," by the police chief.

After that incident, and his removal from the "institute," Vaako decided that he would attempt to be "normal." He started school, and although it can not be said that he had a lot of friends, the ones he did have liked him for him, or at least what they thought was him. But he didn't mind, it was just nice for him that he was being accepted by anyone. Much to his annoyance, Vaako actually enjoyed the weekend outings he and his friends made: shopping, going to fairs or carnivals, swimming, whatever was open and whatever the weather would allow them to do.

Now, the sad thing is, when Vaako was in his late teens, 17, he still hadn't discovered the wonder that is the female race. It was widely thought that, while he was quite handsome, he was a bit "too handsome." It wasn't that he was gay (except for happy, yay!!) it was just that he hadn't found a girl that was worth his time and/or effort.

That is, until the day he saw her. He was captivated by, well, not one aspect of her intrigueingness can be described, for it was everything about her that he was fascinated by. The way she walked, they style she wore her clothes that accentuated every bit of her luscious body, her hair swinging as she moved away, and her shaking hips. To Vaako, it was pure beauty.

But, what must be remembered is that this was his first crush, his first _anything _that had to do with a girl, and we all know what happens when men get excited. Poor Vaako, right as she was walking by, he happened to look up with a wide eyed look of surprise on his face. His embarrassment showed, but she didn't seem to notice, as she sauntered by, a smile formed on her face and she gave little, or not so, Vaako a wink.


	2. Of Strolls and Stupefactions

Right before our eyes, our little Vaako turned into a man, well, almost. When he went home, he found that he could not concentrate on any of his work. His mind kept drifting to her, that beautiful rose, the morning lily to his dark violet.

He had two problems, though. 1)Vaako was clinically crazy, and therefore the chances of him having any sort of normal, stable relationship was abnormally low and 2)he did not know the girls name.

_Dammit,_ he thought to himself, _how could I have completely frozen up like that? All over some little girl I've never even seen or met before. _He was not used to having "crushes" on anyone, and consequently did not know the specifics of what went on; a.k.a. the freezing up, profuse sweating, and complete bumble headedness that went along with it.

So, not knowing what else he should do in such a situation, he decided on cursing himself for over an hour, until he became bored of that, so he decided that he would take a walk, for the fresh air, if not the sun, would do him some good.

The sun was, in fact, out, but it did not make the temperature soar. In fact, the weather was quite nice, especially when the wind was blowing. He decided to go down to the wharfs, and watch the sun sparkle on the waves. Here, on his planet of Gaki, the seas and oceans were more beautiful than on any other planet. Being a guy, though, Vaako never really took too much of a consideration on its beauty.

Of course, fate can be a bit of a comedian at times, and it just so happened that that day she would play one of her jokes. As Vaako was crossing a bridge, he spotted her sitting on one of the piers, with her feet dangling in the water. Since she was alone, he figured that he could find the courage to speak with her.

He was, of course, wrong, but she wasn't a shy person, and it happened to be that at the very moment Vaako was walking past her chosen pier, she looked back, and screamed to him, "Hey, didn't I see you earlier?"

Knowing that he could not just ignore her, he spun around and replied, "Uhh, well, umm, yeah, it, uhh, was, you walked past me, and…" he trailed off into silence; the last part of his award-winning speech was lost in a well-timed cough.

He found himself mesmerized by her mid-length, curly black hair. And her almond-shaped eyes, which were an odd shade of greyish-green. He knew from his earlier faux-encounter with her that she was tall, but not quite as tall as he was. And, what he liked the most about her, was how natural she seemed. Unlike the other girls he had met, she didn't load herself down with make-up. He wondered as to whether or not she even wore that horrible stuff.

"Oh, well, why don't you come and sit with me? Or would you rather stand there like an idiot all day?"

He found himself staring at her a moment to long, completely ignoring her question of relation on the wharf.

"Excuse me?" Vaako was surprised. No one had ever dared say anything of the non-nice persuasion about him to his face.

"Hell, I said to come and sit with me, is that too much for you to comprehend?" She rolled her eyes at Vaako and turned back around, sighing heavily.

Vaako walked the length of the dock, and took a seat beside her, but not too close. He did not remove his shoes, being one of those who prefer to stay dry. "I am Vaako, by the way, and you are?"

"Yume Neko. You look about my age. Maybe a bit older, I'm 16, you must be about 17."

"Yeah, I am, usually people think I look older, though."

"Whatever. It's your complexion, nonetheless. Older people go outside more to work, and they are darker. You're as white as a bloody ghost though, you are." At this, Yume crept closer to Vaako and whispered in his ear, "But you're not going to try and scare me, though, are you?"

Vaako, not understanding the complexities of women, just turned toward her and uttered, a single, "no."

"Ugh, you're dense. I think I like it. You should be my submissive kitty," she said with a coy smile. She began to laugh, watching Vaako's façade go from one of confusion, to one of amused annoyance.

"You're what? You're freakin' crazy. I am not submissive." He realized that he had made a mistake just by the look on her face. She had stopped laughing, but instead began examining, closely.

"Maybe not, but you're cute, just like a kitty," she purred, smoothing back her hair.

"What is a 'submissive kitty' anyway?" he asked, not understanding the implications of the phrase that Yume had put forth.

"You'll get it one day. Until then, have a good one." She stood up and donned her sandals. "Hope I see you around," she said, while smoothing out her pants.

Vakko sat for a moment, and then decided that he should say something while he still had the chance, and while she was alone, so if denied, he would feel as embarrassed.

"Wait," he said, quickly standing up and grabbing her arm, for Yume had already started on a brisk pace. "Umm, how about I t-take you, uhh, to dinner sometime?" he asked shakily, slightly stuttering.

"Sure, could be fun." Yume divulged the information as to where she lived. They decided on the time that he would pick her up, and all the rest of the essential information, and she walked off. "See you tomorrow, don't be late."

Vaako stared after her until she was only a speck on the horizon. _What the **hell** did I just do? Double damn! _He began his walk home, torn between being excited for his first date, or being a moron for ever deciding to take a walk that day.


	3. Pops and Preparations

Alas, another post, another showing that I do not own any of the characters in the Chronicles of Riddick…..Thank you for reminding me…..

The next evening, Vaako began his journey into preparing for his date. He hopped into the shower and he, well, he did what most people do in the shower, which is wash and condition his hair and wash his body. He finished, dried off, and applied a more than generous amount of cologne.

Afterwards, as Vaako dressed, to impress, for his date, he experienced an amazing bout of nervousness. He suddenly realized that he did not know how to conduct himself on a date. Or, of course, what one did on such an event. He debated with himself as to whether or not he should ask his father for a bit of father-son advice.

He left his room and slowly walked down stairs and down the hallway to his parents' room. He knocked on the door and heard a few muffled sounds, than his father's eye appeared in the doorway that was still held mostly shut by a thick chain.

"Umm, Melancton, I need some help."

"What've you done now, boy? Something else that I have to bail you out of?" his father asked gruffly.

"It's not that. I've…got a date tonight, and I was just wondering what I should do," was Vaako's timid response.

"…oh…" said his father, Melancton.

Then the door slammed in Vaako's face, and he heard his father and mother speak a few inaudible words, followed by the sounds of a chain falling and the opening of the door. His father stepped out, sadly wearing only a pair of hakama; the wide legged pants that the older generation of men preferred to wear on Gaki.

"A date, you say. With a girl?" Melancton asked.

"Of course, with a girl," Vaako sneered, resisting the urge to smack his father upside the head with a blunt object. "While I was dressing, I realized that I really had no clue what people did on dates." Suffice it to say, the only person that Vaako did not act like a hard-ass around was his father, and he felt that he could say anything to him without any prejudice against his confusion.

"Well, musuko, let's go downstairs and sit at the table."

As Vaako and his father made their way through the house, Vaako began to have doubts about the whole 'dating mess' that he had gotten himself into. _Who's fault is this anyway, _he though, then _Oh, yeah. Mine._

As they took their seats that the table, Melancton began the conversation anew with, "Alright, Vaako, there is a time when every dad must say these things to his son…again. Okay, it all starts with the birds and the bees and…"

He did not have a chance to finish his speech, for Vaako interrupted, "Oh, my lord, Mel, it's not sex, I can figure that out on my own. It's a bloody date." There was a look of utmost disgust plastered on his face as he waited for his father to respond.

"Only being safe, thought it would be better to cover all the bases, not just the details that lead up to it." He sighed and shook his head, running his hands through his sandy blonde hair. "Anyway, on to the specifics. In order to have a good date, you need to know what sort of person this girl is. Tell me about her."

Vaako began his description of Yume, everything from how she looked to how she acted and whatever he could think of in between.

Finally, he took a breath and his father, sensing an opening, cut in. "Well, a date isn't difficult, really. I recommend a dinner, a movie, a nice walk. First date stuff, keep it simple, she what she's all about. Then, if all goes well, you should learn more about her, and if you like it, the next date will be more interesting."

He looked at his son, who was so different from himself, not only in personality, which was understandable, but also in appearance. Where Melancton was loud and boisterous, Vaako was quiet and kept to himself. He would have at least liked a son who looked a bit like him, short, stout, blonde-headed and tanned, instead of a tall, lean boy with raven black hair that fell hung down to his eyebrows, and a problem with the sun.

Sighing, he looked at Vaako and decided that his clothing wasn't going to cut it. "Kid, you're not wearing that now, are you?"

"What's wrong with it?" inquired Vaako, wondering what was wrong with the nice suit and tie combination he had dress in for his night out. "I think that I look nice."

"Sure, nice, if it was a funeral that you were going to, tonight. You're young; it's a date, dress like it, look like you want to have fun. Not like you're horribly depressed." He almost tried to suppress a giggle after his last statement, but in the end decided against it.

"Alright." Vaako said, and, thanking his dad, went back to his room and began changing, dressing not to impress, but to have…fun.

Ten minutes later, he found himself standing in front of his mirror in a pair of boxers and a "wife beater" tank. While looking through his closet, he had realized that he had no real idea of how to dress for fun. He supposed just normal pants and a shirt would do, but that just didn't seem "datish" enough when he put it on.

At last, he decided on a pair of nice slacks and a button-up shirt, but he still wasn't sure about the way he looked. But he couldn't do anything about it now, because 1. He reviled the thought of once again begging his father for help, and 2. his date was in about half and hour.

So, he grabbed his wallet and shoved it, quite unceremoniously, into his pocket, and threw on his coat.

He walked towards the front door, and spotted his father still sitting at the kitchen table.

"So, Melancton, better?" He decided to have a second opinion before leaving the house.

"Great, Vaako, no woman could resist you in that," he chuckled.

"…"

"No, it's nice."

Vaako opened the door and was almost out of the house when he heard his father say, "I wish you as much luck as I can. Have a great night." Vaako looked back into the house and gave his dad a tiny smile and made his way towards his newest venture.


End file.
